By Esther Alexander – (ABUJA)
Jealousy in a relationship is not a crime until it becomes one. It comes in different ways, sometimes you see your partner smiling at someone and you think that there’s something going on between the two of them and that your relationship is in danger.
Even if they tell you, that the person in question is a newly found acquaintance, the heightening jealousy keeps you from believing them.
In that case they need to constantly remind you of your importance to them. But they’d only put up with it for so long before concluding that you have insecurity issues. This is what jealousy does to a relationship. It ruins one of the most essential things required for a relationship which is trust.
Even though jealousy comes naturally, it doesn’t harm you or your relationship as long as you keep it in check.
One of the ways to deal with jealousy in a relationship is to constantly remind your partner how much they mean to you.
If they’re jealous even when you see no reason for it, reassure them. Try to find out why exactly do they feel so, and then try to fix it.
Don’t take it as a sign for lack of trust; instead think of it as their means of expressing the fear of losing you.
Give them the attention they need and help them get over the jealousy. Don’t be offended by it, it’d only complicate things even further.
Always look at things from their perspective
Their being friendly with someone makes you jealous? Maybe next time you feel so, you should put yourself in their shoes and try and understand why they’re acting in that way. You might come to the conclusion that when put in a similar situation, you’d be doing the exact same thing.
This will help you deal with the jealousy before it becomes any worse, and not only that you’ll know how to fight it off every single time.
Remember that your partner isn’t always looking for a way out of the relationship when they’re talking to or meeting someone. Learn to trust them.
Learn to always reassure yourself
Have you been treating your partner wrong? Are you not invested in your relationship? Are you not in love with them anymore? Have they shown any decline of interest in you? If you have no as answer to all of these questions, then you probably have nothing to worry about! Cease feeling threatened by other people. If they wanted to be with someone else, they would be. But they want to be with you, don’t make them prove their feelings for you all the time. You’re worthy of loyalty, and unless you believe that, you’ll never be able to trust them completely.
Talk about your feelings always
Communication plays an important role in all sorts of relationship issues. If the other person does not know of the problem, how can you expect them to fix it in any sort of way? Be it anything, they deserve to know (even at the risk of sounding crazy). If you keep it to yourself, you’re allowing it to build up within you. And what follows is this huge blast of impulsive actions which harm everyone involved. So save yourself from that nightmare and be upfront with them if there’s someone you’re concerned about.
Stop any for of comparison
There will always be someone better than you out there. That doesn’t mean you should have to live in the constant fear of losing your partner to them. You may think that someone is better than you, while your partner may not even be comparing the two of you. There is nothing missing in you, you’re a complete person. And you deserve to be loved. If you fail to see that in yourself, don’t expect anyone else to see it in you either.
Stay true to yourself
Fueled by negative emotions and thoughts, we tend to believe the worst and expect the worst as well. You might think that someone is after your partner, while they could just be acting like friends. Take things as they are. Cease making things up. You’re worrying yourself over nothing. And if you start acting out on it, you’re making things hard for them as well. They shouldn’t have to reassure you of your importance to them, ALL THE TIME.
Apologize
Learn to apply the word “sorry” at all times or any other substitute for apology. If you have been neglecting your partner for some reason, or assuming they should understand, you have to apologize to them. Disclose them what has been keeping you occupied and always make up for lost times and failed promises. And make sure you mean your apology. Ignorance tends to bring up all sorts of negative thoughts in a person, and in a relationship, they’re most often fixating around the idea of someone else in the picture. Do your part in keeping any such emotions from surfacing and stay true to your partner.
Jealousy can actually be healthy in a relationship as it reminds you of what your partner means to you. But you shouldn’t go around making them jealous intentionally, so that they’d realize your value. What you might be doing is, making them feel not good enough for you. There’s no issue that cannot be resolved, given that it is dealt with in due time. And as always, communication is the key!
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