“An unexamined life is not worth living” – Plato
When a calendar year rolls towards its end and a new year beckons in, it is often a time for reflection, review and re-examination for persons, institutions, companies or any organized group. It is usually a time to check what has been, what worked and what did not work. Then the new year tends to usher in resolutions, plans, action steps and the likes. Doing such review has been found to give an individual or group a sense of where they are at, and where they would possibly like to be heading.
However, I must mention that the year 2020 was indeed a peculiar year in which many resolutions, plans and action steps were turned upside down. Yet, the attitude with which one entered the year and the steadfastness and perseverance in achieving some goal as the year went on, were certainly not turned upside down. Planning is one thing and adjusting to life as it comes along is always another piece of pie to deal with. The year 2020 was a year that highlighted strengths and weaknesses of individuals, groups and institutions like never. We are all still grappling with that in one way or the other.
It is normal that as human beings, we tend to look at our lives and one of the things we wonder about is, “Time is passing. Is my life making any progress at all?” This question can affect people in different ways depending on how the person sees his or her life. For some, it can indeed be a disturbing question where one feels, for instance, as you may have heard someone would say, “Look at me. I am forty-something years old and I have nothing to show for it.” The blame could be put on several things external to him or the individual could take his life as a product of his choices over time. Which ever the case, this question could be a source of desperation, anxiety, depression or sadness. But does it end there? No! Life must continue.
You are an adult, fully responsible for your life. Yes, there are many external factors and influences that affect us, but ultimately, you have no one or nothing to blame for your circumstance, difficult, insensitive and unrealistic as that may sound. This is because, even within your very situation, if you decide to do something positive about it and have a better outlook on life, your life will begin to change. If you doubt this, then you have some long way to go to get to where you want to be (if you know where).
Well, if you are not sure of what response to give to that question, then at least do this: Stop worrying, do what you are doing now to the best of your ability, build your self-confidence, seek ways to improve yourself and anything you are doing now, keep a positive mind and believe that because you still have life in you, change and progress will happen, as you keep being and doing your best. Note that in the last statement, the emphasis is improving yourself and doing to your best that which you can do right now. This does not fail.
In the world of today, improving your best and seeking ways to improve the things you are already doing means a lot. It means building a good network around you – associating with persons who challenge you to leave your comfort zone and to become much more than you are. When you see a person doing something you like, do you bother to go closer to know what they know or learn how they are doing it?
Improvement means self-discipline, personal growth and making those necessary personal changes. You don’t have to maintain those behaviours and habits that no longer serve in achieving the things you want to achieve. An example of this is a man who gets married but continues to hold on to his old habits as though nothing has changed in his life.
How does he do this? He still hangs out with women, drinks everyday with ‘friends’ (relationships he is not leveraging on to improve his life), stays out late at night, gives money at home only enough to get him fed (every other feeding and general expenses in his house is his wife’s personal problem), smokes like a chimney (that even the children are praying that dad gets old enough to see them marry), engage in fraudulent acts and corrupt practices – as his legacy to his children because the children are seeing and learning and the next generation around him is learning that from him.
With all this, a time of regret will certainly set in because, as we are told, “As you lay your bed, so you lie on it.” Someone who wants to match time with progress in her personal life, will need to pay attention to how she is laying her bed right now through the choices she is making. A woman who embarks in making money through her very own body eventually gets to pay a very high price for that at some point.
A woman who waits for her husband to provide her every bread and butter, will one day be asked by life to show what she can do for herself and for society. At that time, she will have to make up for all the relaxation she is enjoying now. A caveat to this is this. Sometimes, the life of a woman may involve taking care of children and the home on a full-time basis. It is high time we all regard this as a very positive and important engagement.
If every home had this precious period in which the children were well catered for and groomed, a lot of social problems we have today in the world would not exist. It is also high time men saw that this is a very important role they too must fully involve themselves as the children grow up. Don’t start pouncing on and shouting at them when they become teenagers, yet you neglected correcting, mentoring and guiding them during their early growth years.
Another point is that we sometimes feel desperate about our progress because we are busy comparing our lives with that of others. We forget that this life has its ‘shade of a journey’ for each person. That you are alive today is a testimony that you have a gap to fill in the world, to make it a better place. So why are you busy comparing or competing with another human being? The sooner you find that belief in yourself and in your own purpose, the sooner you will begin to experience the peace and joy you long for.
Note that this does not exclude hard work, diligence and commitment. If you have been able to find that which you love doing, do it with these ingredients and you will have no reason to compare, contrast and compete with anyone in your personal life. If you are in business, you certainly have competitors, but here we are focused on you as a person – your personal growth and purpose.
Then again, we feel desperate because we think we need to be in a certain way and have certain things to be recognized by others or be like some other persons we admire. What a way to exert mental energy! In an effort to acquire and amass whatever we think will impress others and make them respect us, we are led into acts such as thuggery, robbery, oppression of the poor, embezzlement of public funds, you manipulate figures for personal gains (so common in Nigeria’s civil service) – this has become a norm and an easy way of amassing ill-gotten monies, getting kickbacks for services you are being paid to do, you anchor an unbridled flow of corruption from the lowest ranks to the empty talkers up there, hence there is no true commitment to improving the welfare of the common woman, child, man and worker.
And the question still lingers, “Time is passing. Is my life making any progress at all?” Every human being seeks meaning, we seek purpose, we see fulfilment. But how each person goes about achieving this differs. The choice is all yours. How you respond to that question and live it out is fully your responsibility.
Even the bible says it, “Today I have given you the choice between life and death, between blessings and curses. Now I call on heaven and earth to witness the choice you make. Oh, that you would choose life, so that you and your descendants might live! (Deuteronomy 30:19). How you are going about giving meaning to your life is something you will eventually pay for in one way or the other. So, let’s choice life!
The beauty and grace we have as human beings is that, at every point in time, mercy, strength and grace awaits us. Once I know where I am today and want to make progress from there, it is always a beautiful realization that life is still loving me back, that I am loved beyond measure and so my life, from wherever it is now, can get straightened again and become a source of blessing, joy, love, peace and can be of much benefit to others and to the society at large.
Together We Can… Support One Another towards Peace and Progress!
Hence what YOU DO matters!
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